A Sexual Glossary of Workplace Buzzwords

by Alexan [51 Views] 2020-08-01 10:46:05

“Action Item”
A super-hot situation, desire or thirst that must be addressed immediately––with or without another person.
“All-Hands Meeting”
Orgy.
“Bandwidth”
The energy or mental capacity required to get that booty.
“Best Practice”
Safe sex.
“Big Data”
The number of partners you’ve had; the amount of porn deleted from your browser history.
“Bottom Line”
Butt stuff.
“Buzz”
The sound your vibrator makes after a disappointing romp.
“Circle Back”
To follow up (and down and up and down and…)
“Disruptive”
When your humping wakes the neighbors.
“Drill Down”
To ignore high-level sex positions and get back to the foundation of lovemaking; missionary.
“Exit Strategy”
To discreetly leave a one-night stand’s apartment without an awkward interaction.
“Get the Ball Rolling”
Lube.
“Give 110%”
When you last 41 minutes after 69.
“Hard Stop”
A significantly less funny term for blue balls.
“Low Hanging Fruit”
Something you should never call your partner’s genitals.
“Micromanage”
When you have to tell a small penis what to do.
“Noodle On It”
A task no one should ask you to do in any context, unless pasta is involved.
“OOO”
A noise made during sex.
“Organic Growth”
To produce a time-honored, traditional boner.
“Outside the Box”
Where you’ll find yourself if you’re lousy at being inside the box.
“Ping”
To contact a person briefly; foreplay.
“Pivot to Video”
Make a sex tape.
“Results Driven”
The kind of partner who works overtime to achieve pleasure goals for the entire team.
“Run It Up the Flagpole”
Your classic handjob.
“Soup to Nuts”
When you go straight from making dinner to the bedroom.
“Strategic Fit”
To match your sexual resources, capabilities and goals with external opportunities; Tinder.
“Synergize”
To come together.
“Takeaways”
STDs.
“Value Added”
When an excellent lover also makes you breakfast.

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